Known Knowns and unKnowns

Day 06- Favourite super hero and why

2011-09-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

Day 06- ~~Favourite super hero and why~~

Why I dislike batman.

Being left at home alone every morning in St.Petersburg (my exams usually start at 4 p.m.) made me addicted to the TV channel for kids. Seriously.

Every morning I wake up when my sister closes the door with a sound of a reactive plane starting. Yes, she does hate to see me staying in the bed at 8 a.m. The new bed we bought and built (my engineering skills were utilized successfully finally) is so big and nice that I miss my own Finnish one a bit less every day.
The first thing to do in the morning is to kick Chiquita out of the bed, or she'll kiss you to death. The second thing is to grab a TV remote from the floor and press just one button. Hurray to the perfect cartoon world!
What was I about to say, anyways. Yep, batman.
Not only ideally shaped, with a perfect voice and actually an intellectual side, he is probably the most boring person i've ever met on TV.
Would you, please, be so nice and make a mistake, just a single one, once in a while? May be the world is not so much worth an effort anyways. Z-z-z-z.

The Joker: And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!
***
Vicki Vale: A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic.
Vicki Vale: Some people say the same thing about you.
Batman: What people?
Vicki Vale: Well, I mean, let's face it. You're not exactly normal, are you?
Batman: It's not exactly a normal world, is it?

May be back to business: Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

2011-04-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

I seriously thought we broke up with my good mood for ever.

Now try to make me upset, I'll fight back, that's for sure. There's nothing harder than sitting at home, reading books and wining about life.
Instead I make plans.

1. Chiquita Daisy Fabulous and her brother, Giani Versace . Coming to Finland on Sunday. My dog is the most loved girl in the world.

2. Eurovision 2011 in May with Alina-na-na. Düsseldorf. Follow the white rabbit.

3. Crimea, Ukraine, in July with Alina, her parents and dogs dogs dogs: "This number is not available now, please call later" (c)

4. New apartment. "Live by the sea in the house full of dogs and children" - remember?
Demo version, will you extend? (c)

5. New Plastics Students. See you soon!

***

A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Issyk Kul, the Kyrgyz Republic. Long ago!

Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn’t have

2011-01-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd write: "I have a million", and provide you a list. That will not happen, I have found only 4 imperfections so far :D

1. "Another 15 minutes, I'll take a shower faster"
2. To flourish arms when talking
3. To cast legs anywhere at home when I sit. It hurts in the end and probably gonna kill my knees some day.
4. To bite my lips all the time

To be added?

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

2011-01-24T15:08:00.000-08:00

Ksu, know each other for 20 years, sister.

As'ka, best school-friends, the smartest girl

Nastya, best friends since University, if i was a man case, lived together for 2 years

Zulya, flatmates, soulmates. Pyatachok

Olya, Masha and Natasha, University friends, there were always 5 of us, funny enough all met through me.

Anechka, wake up call in the morning, best pen pal, my life for last 2 years can be published in my letters to her.

Alina, simply best friends, pretty much we found each other

Day 2 - What’s in your purse?

2011-01-24T06:05:00.000-08:00

To make it more fun, first, a picture from 2006-2007

Russian passport, student ID card, dormitory pass, powder, wallet, orange (?!) lip-gloss, keys, many pens, many-many of sticky notes, paper with working hours, map of St.Petersburg, wet wipes, reader's ticket, pendant, file, chewing gum.

A few more oldies:

And today

Notebook, contact lenses solution, keys, pens, gums, purse, papers with calculations, calculator, memory stick, school calender, Alina's hairpin, MAC prep+prime transparent finishing powder, MAC studio sculpt concealer, business card, "The accidental billionaires" book by Ben Mezrich (boring book to save from boring lectures), stickers for books, foreign passport.

30 Day challenge starts today: Day 1 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

2011-01-23T10:45:00.000-08:00

Feel free to join! Found here: http://30daychallengearchive.tumblr.com/challengedirectory

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- What’s in your purse?
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favourite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumbler and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your play list on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then? Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I hate to pose for pictures.
2. Always have radio or just music on as a background. Can't stand silence.
3. Normally I don't watch any movies or episodes at home with an exception of two Russian series about doctors.
4. Have the same phone for 5 years now, it's almost my family member.
5. Didn't drink alcohol, didn't smoke, didn't eat any meat for two years. Recently I drink occasionally and eat fish.
6. First time dyed my hair at 4. Continuously changed the colour from age 12 to 19. Last two years tone them by henna only.
7. If I live alone every night before sleep and in the morning I read about 10 pages.
8. Finished school with a golden medal but had non-excellent grades in Chemistry and Russian language once.
9. Have very bad eyesight.
10. Have may be one, maximum two pairs of trousers in the wardrobe.
11. 90% of my clothes is made by mom.
12. Never know how much money I have, but always remember who owes me and whom I owe.
13. Generally strongly dislike cats. The exception are my neighbour's ladies. Them I adore.
14. For ages a big fan of Donzova. She writes humorous detective stories for women. They say her literature is low-grade, "books for housewives".
15. I can't say the word "kvartiranty" right (from Russian: tenants). Always say it as "kvantiranty". It makes absolutely no sense and there is no reason behind.

That was quite boring, and I had a difficult time coming up with something new ;)

When dreams come true

2011-01-21T16:48:00.000-08:00

Original source and all credits: http://drugoi.livejournal.com/

This is Frosya. She and other 44 dogs live at Ilya's cottage house.

For about 20 years Ilya collects dogs on the streets, cures them and keeps to live at his house. Half of the dogs have no breed, the other half neither, but have experience to know what is a ~~human~~ race, these dogs are bitten, half alive. They are invalids. Ilya gives them help, food, house and warmth - everything they didn't have in the big City.

The dogs are everywhere in the house, they have several rooms on the first floor. They go around, lay on the sofas, and some, who are not afraid of people, let you touch them and talk to them.

The most demanding for attention is Frosya. She doesn't have a left hand but doesn't notice it and tries to hug you with both.

The small dog behind doesn't let unknown people to come close. These dogs who were beaten don't trust ~~human~~s.

Two old sheepdogs live in the separate room. The black one doesn't hear anything. After two brain attacks her face is wry. She silently puts her face into your hand, says hi.

Next to the main house there are two smaller warm ones. Big dogs live there. Ilya remembers all the names and stories where and how he found them.

This dog somebody used as a shooting target, she has a bullet in the front hand.

Ilya bought two carts and two dogs with broken spines now drive around by them. Tosha..

And Musha. Ilya put soft plastic around the metal, so that the dogs feel comfortable.

At home Tosha can only lay without moving on the sofa.

The small dog behind Frosya is just recovering from a very complicated head trauma. She has a broken jaw and almost doesn't walk.

Some people might heard about famous American dog Roadie who can run on two legs. Ilya has a dog called Tobi, who runs not worse than his American "brother". Tobi was found with the legs cut by something sharp. Doctors wanted to put the dog to sleep but Ilya's wife was against and she cured the him. He's very much afraid of unknown people but physically feels himself excellent.

This is how he runs.

Some dogs don't even move when you pass by.

"I'm so lucky, amazingly lucky, I found home" - he thought before falling asleep.

This is how dogs heaven in the forest look like.

Болезнь хуже. Хочу чтобы все закончилось.
Снова плачу.

Благослови Вас Господь.

Last Hero of our times

2011-01-21T15:48:00.000-08:00

Sergey Bodrov "Eight events that influenced me, or How I grew up to be a good man"

All these events happened during first 16 years of my life. Frankly speaking, after that time nothing affected me for real..

Children think a lot about life and know very few about it. That's why they have more information in their heads than they can see and ask. In other words, their inner world is much bigger and richer than the outside one.

When I was a small boy I thought myself to be very smart. At least I could hardly imagine a person smarter than me, may be just a few adults. This belief disappeared after I read "Childhood, Boyhood, and Youth" by Leo Tolstoy. I was amazed that the author described the same feelings by the same words as me. About that time I learned about the Infinity of the Universe.

I understood how many small inner worlds exist, and what a big nonsoluble world they build..

Once I stole my friend's toy car. I could not play with it. Began to suffer terribly. Mom found out and advised me to call boy's parents. Shame was horrible, just the idea of calling - unbearable, but I made my decision.

Then I realized that courageous actions are more difficult to perform than disgraceful, but they make you stronger..

Once I went to the pioneering camp because I was in love with the girl. Before that I was in the camp only once and ran away from there. This time I was appointed to be the person to carry the flag. I really liked white gloves, red ribbon over the shoulder and the cap, but it turned out that at the end of the ceremony I would have to kiss the flag. It seemed to me a bit unnatural, especially, to say honestly, by the time I had never kissed anybody. To cut it short, the appointment did not take place in the end. Moreover, I did not participate in any public activities, I didn't like to play the game "candle" and I never learned how to play drums. I didn't do anything wrong, but activists of the camp started to hate me. I had to run away from there again.

Then I realized that even if you're a good man, that doesn't mean that people will love you..

One day we were sitting with friends after classes in the schools cloakroom. Elementary teacher passed by and thought that we searching in the pockets. They started examination. The case of theft was announced at the parents' evening. It was impossible to explain ourselves, even parents started to doubt.

Before that I lied, but usually unsuccessfully. Therefore, the power and authority of the truth for me were unconquerable.

But then I realized that even if you're right, it doesn't mean that people will believe you. It turned out that you should fight for the truth..

Once on the cultural exchange program my class went to Hungary. Everything abroad shocked us. At home of my host there was a wine cellar, for lunch they ate soup from sweet cherries. Our age teenagers were driving girls on their own motorcycles, drank wine and partied at nights. We organized a friendly football match between students. Girls, of course, were in the audience. In short, you have never seen such battles! The battle of Borodino (refers to the largest one day action of the French invasion of Russia by Napoleon I) is nothing compared to this battle. We had to win. And we won. Then I realized something about patriotism..

In young years physical strength and sense of justice mean a lot. Therefore, in school I was often into fights. At sixteen I broke my classmate's nose. Police officer explained that according to the law it was a serious body injury. But after questioning he promised not to pursue the case, and offered to tell him regularly about cases of theft and distribution of pornography at school. He left the phone number. The paper had to be thrown away in the hall, because the victim was overhearing at the door. Then I realized that dignity must always be stronger than fear..

The first parting with the woman you love is never easy. I was also going through it badly until I sat down and wrote a soulful lyrical story about an submariner. At 4 a.m. I put a dot on the paper. I was healthy, and went to sleep.
Then I realized that art is the great power..

And the last. As a child I was amazed by the difference between a man and a woman. This wonder has not passed yet..

Sergei Bodrov Jr (27.12.1971 – 20.09. 2002) Russian actor, who became famous after the movies Brother and Brother-2 (Russia, US), which are recognized as the best portrait of late Russian 1990s. The main character, Danila Bagrov is the symbol of truth, dignity and patriotism of the modern days.

Sergey died in an ice slide in the mountains near Karmadon during shooting of his film The Messenger. Bodies not found yet. Never heard a single negative word about Bodrov, love to him in the culture is measureless. Call him the Last Hero of our times.

***

Too much of intimacy is bad, and vice versa, if it's not enough people are ready to accomplish any feats. All what ever happened in the world literature - does not matter between close people or not - was due to the fact that someone wanted to be together. Or to break this closeness. That's it. The inner feeling of the world is important, because human nature is dual: on the one hand, he should be with someone ,on the other - he still has to be by himself. A few manage to be together and to preserve themselves.

***

Love a book and a woman and don't touch them with dirty hands.

***

(when asked if the education was useful in his life or not) Of course. Imagine you come to any city. What do you usually know about it? That there are a central square, some shops... And I know there is a painting in one of the museums and you can spend the whole day in front of it. And this one day is added to your life.

***

(from Brother-2 movie, holding a gun in front of the "bad guy") Tell me what is power! Power is money? My brother also says that power is money. You have a lot of money, so what? I think that power is the truth: who has the truth, he is stronger! And you let somebody down, made money out of it, did you become stronger? No, because there's no truth behind you. Truth is behind the one you let down! It means, he is stronger!

***

You stand on the corner of the busy street and imagine that you are not there. No, moreover, that you don't exist at all. People pass by, cars go around, doors of shops open, people at the bus stop change. The world continues to live without you. It's painful to understand. But important.

***

We all hope for the beautiful ending of this ugly life.

Forgive us

2011-01-17T14:05:00.000-08:00

Young girls found a dying dog in Juntolovskiy park in St.Petersburg. There was a lot of blood, but girls didn't get afraid and called the service for lost and found dogs. When people came, almost dead dog started to crawl in a panic. They caught him and brought to the hospital.

What they saw shocked even doctors who seemed to be used to everything. The dog was young, only 3 years old, and strong. Could see that he lived in the house. What was his fault, who were these people and why they did it, but the dog was hung by legs on the wire. The wire was very tight and the dog was hanging until the legs fell apart. It was impossible to save them, there was just nothing left. But it was not enough. The dog was beaten, and the neck cut. Probably people who did it thought that the dog was dead and they left. The dog without legs fell down and then the girls found him.
The dog was operated and treated in the hospital, he will never be able to walk again as normal.
Doctors decided to keep him alive. Somebody will say that it's against a good will, that it's anti-human.
But what the fuck you are speaking about humanity when a person, people did these to the dog!

Now I want you to see the pictures. Dare to look. What did people who grew from the children.

The dog was operated and both back legs, what was left, were amputated.
The doctors and people who care try to do their best now to make the dog return to the normal life, to find a home and caring people who will accept him.
I know the girl who is taking care. They need any help.

Yandex internet money of the hospital: 41001197974518
The name of the dog is "Bonus". Bonus-second chance to get a life.
He's at the moment in the animal clinic Fillmora (им. А. Филлмора), Saint-Petersburg, pr. Engelsa, 154.
(Санкт-Петербург, пр. Энгельса д. 154 , Здание торгово-развлекательного комплекса "Гранд Каньон" (въезд с улицы Шостаковича).
Phone: 335-33-82

People from St.Petersburg can visit the clinic in the hours:
Monday с 17-00 до 20-00
Wednesday с 17-00 до 20-00
Friday с 17-00 до 20-00
Sunday с 15-00 до 18-00

Nothing new.

2011-01-15T08:52:00.000-08:00

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died from disgust" (c) Faina Ranevskaya.

Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone (c)

2011-01-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

Murphy's Golden rules

(God, I love Osho's newsletters)

1. Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
2. Never think of the future -- it comes soon enough.
3. For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.
4. Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, middle age looks worried.
5. Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.
6. The best thing about the golden old days is that they cannot come back.
7. Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
8. The solution to a problem changes the problems.
9. Almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of.
10. Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.
11. Celibacy is not hereditary.
~~12. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.~~
13. If you think education is experience, try ignorance (?)

Sofiko Shevarnadze about men and women.

2011-01-12T04:48:00.000-08:00

1. The best that a woman can do for a man is to fall in love with the real him, not a made up character from her dreams(re-phrased)

2. If a woman suddenly stops answering your calls, don't search for bottomless explanations. Breath out and find another one.

3. If you like a woman, don't waste time, because we don't turn younger but get wiser. So you'll have less chances.

4. The secret is in the smell.

Sofiko Shevarnadze is a granddaughter of ex-president of Georgia.

quote

2010-12-21T01:08:00.000-08:00

One is empty and wants to be full, the other - is overfull and wishes to be empty. Both seek for an individual who would serve them for this. In each case it’s called the same one word: love.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Tainted Love Original

2010-12-20T15:06:00.000-08:00

Once I ran to you, now I ran from you.
...
Now I gonna pack my things and go.

Да.

2010-12-17T17:16:00.000-08:00

Не моё!
Навеяло

Ваша вторая половина-левая часть тела. и не надо соплей.

да… я всё понимаю любовь и прочая хрень… но, девушки, опомнитесь!какой единственный? Какой навсегда? Тебе не 60 лет!!Живи! хватит размазывать сопли по лицу,слушать грустную музыку и мечтать,что когда-нибудь он приползёт!да не приползёт!Ему плевать! Он не помнит тебя! Попользовался,поиграл,послал! А ты вся такая бедная и несчастная,просто нашла очередной повод пострадать!Всем нам нужны такие горе-мальчики по которым мы будем страдать… Которыми будем оправдывать, что курим…Пить с горя, ведь это гораздо красивее, чем сказать «да я ушла в запой»! Сидим ночами рассуждая как нам плохо без него…Что он воздух,что он жизнь…А ну-ка кто без него умер? Всё реально пережить,а лучше забить! Ты жива? Так какой он тогда кислород? Попробуй-ка зажми нос! Не дыши!чуствуешь разницу?Или до сих пор не поняла своим розовым мозгом, что он полная лажа,а ты дура, которой нравиться страдать?Пойди выпей с подругой,позовите парней отожги…..Пошли ему смску со словами «иди, ты, милёнок,ты полный отстой, а я королева»!спорим сразу позвонит?Ну что ответит точно,это гораздо эффективней, чем сопливые сообщения в которых ты описываешь свои «глубокие» чувства, а он читает и сразу удаляет,а знаешь почему? Потому что ему плевать,потому что он знает что ты будешь бегать за ним как собака и чуть что он может прийти к тебе улыбнуться, а твой и без того не совсем нормальный мозг отключится… Ему плевать на твои чуства…!Запомни милая, если ты весишь не 40 кг это не значит что ты жирная корова,и что если ты похудеешь то он сразу вернётся…Если ты будешь весить 40 кг как хочешь,это будет значить ,что у тебя нет сисек,жопы и на тебе можно будит гладить бельё,потому что ты плоская как доска…Худей милая,худей!Все тут пишут виски, ром и т.д. а теперь скажите чесно кто тут виски бутылками пьёт? Пиво на лавочке вот чё ты пьёшь…Ну ладно мартини на кухне с подругой у которой такие же розовые мозги и лопша на ушах как у тебя… Не ври себе!Давайте будем смотреть правде в глаза, может ты не самая красивая,худая и т.д. но ты достойна большего…Не этого тупого козла помешеного на себе,который готов спать со всем что видит!Пойми ты это наконец!А ты…Живи спокойно,пей сколько хочется и кури если хочется…но прекрати оправдывать это всё несчастной любовью…Не ври ни себе,не другим! Ему плевать, и тебе тоже, а то что ты вбила себе в голову дурь и полная фигня!А жить ты устала,заткнись и живи! Умрёшь тебя все забудут всем плевать!Ему тем более!Он ни чё не поймёт!Грубо? А разве не правда?

"Я молюсь за все собачьи жизни, что не пропускают наши - в ад"

2010-12-17T14:32:00.000-08:00

Хозяин погладил рукою
Лохматую рыжую спину:
- Прощай, брат! Хоть жаль мне, не скрою,
Но все же тебя я покину.

Швырнул под скамейку ошейник
И скрылся под гулким навесом,
Где пестрый людской муравейник
Вливался в вагоны экспресса.

Собака не взвыла ни разу.
И лишь за знакомой спиною
Следили два карие глаза
С почти человечьей тоскою.

Старик у вокзального входа
Сказал:- Что? Оставлен, бедняга?
Эх, будь ты хорошей породы...
А то ведь простая дворняга!

Огонь над трубой заметался,
Взревел паровоз что есть мочи,
На месте, как бык, потоптался
И ринулся в непогодь ночи.

В вагонах, забыв передряги,
Курили, смеялись, дремали...
Тут, видно, о рыжей дворняге
Не думали, не вспоминали.

Не ведал хозяин, что где-то
По шпалам, из сил выбиваясь,
За красным мелькающим светом
Собака бежит задыхаясь!

Споткнувшись, кидается снова,
В кровь лапы о камни разбиты,
Что выпрыгнуть сердце готово
Наружу из пасти раскрытой!

Не ведал хозяин, что силы
Вдруг разом оставили тело,
И, стукнувшись лбом о перила,
Собака под мост полетела...

Труп волны снесли под коряги...
Старик! Ты не знаешь природы:
Ведь может быть тело дворняги,
А сердце - чистейшей породы!

Эдуард Асадов

На остановке возле сквера,
Напротив шумного вокзала,
собака..,брошена, наверное,
Или хозяев потеряла.

Берет с ладони осторожно
Все, что дадут; благодарит!
В глаза смотреть ей невозможно...
Приняв отсутствующий вид,

Все ждут, когда она исчезнет -
Ведь с глаз долой, из сердца - вон?
Густая шерсть уже облезла,
И бок до кожи опален.

Лежит под лавкой, что-то гложет -
То кость какую - то, то прут.
За всяким увязаться может
В надежде, что ее возьмут!

Но...возвращается упорно
Под эту лавку каждый раз,
Уронит в лапы свою морду,
А слезы катятся из глаз ...

Ошейник шее исхудалой
Уже не нужен, как и то,
Что ее верность опоздала,
По крайней мере, лет на сто.

Четыре лапы, хвост да уши -
Чем тут отбиться от камней?
Ей нужен дом и очень нужен
один из тысячи людей...

Все ограничится подачкой
Смахнув чего-то там со щек,
Ей скажут ласково :" Собачка,
Я завтра принесу еще..."

Ей не решить такого ребуса,
Иная мудрость ей дана:
На остановке ждут троллейбуса,
И лишь хозяина - она...

Воронкова Галина (Аля)

Illusions by Richard Bach.

2010-12-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

Chapter 8 is my favourite: Why some people are unhappy?

We finished the day in Hammond, Wisconsin, flying a few Monday passengers, then we walked
to town for dinner, and started back.
“Don, I will grant you that this life can be interesting or dull or whatever we choose to make it. But even in my brilliant times I have never been able to figure out why we’re here in the first place. Tell me something about that.”
We passed the hardware store (closed) and the movie theatre( open: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), and instead of answering he stopped, turned back on the sidewalk.
“You have money, don’t you?”
“Lots. What’s the matter?”
“Let’s see the show,” he said. “You buy?”
“I don’t know, Don. You go ahead. I’ll get back to the airplanes. Don’t like to leave ‘em alone too long.” What was suddenly so important about a motion picture?
“The planes are OK. Let’s go to the show.”
“It’s already started.”
“So we come in late.”
He was already buying his ticket. I followed him into the dark and we sat down near the back of the theater. There might have been fifty people around us in the gloom. I forgot about why we came, after a while, and got caught up in the story, which I’ve always thought is a classic movie, anyway; this would be my third time seeing Sundance. The time in the theater spiraled and stretched the way it does in a good film, and I watched awhile for technical reasons... how each scene was designed and fit to the next, why this scene now and not later on. I tried to look at it that way, but got spun up in the story and forgot.
About the part where Butch and Sundance are surrounded by the entire Bolivian army, almost at the end, Shimoda touched my shoulder. I leaned toward him, watching the movie, wishing he could have kept whatever he was going to say till after it was over.
“Richard?”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you here?”
“It’s a good movie, Don. Sh.” Butch and Sundance, blood all over them, were talking about why they ought to go to Australia.
“Why is it good?” he said.
“It’s fun. Sh. I’ll tell you later.”

“Snap out of it. Wake up. It’s all illusions.”
I was irked. “Donald, there’s just a few minutes more and then we can talk all you want. But let me watch the movie, OK?”
He whispered intensely, dramatically. “Richard, why are you here?”
“Look, I’m here because you asked me to come in here!” I turned back and tried to watch the end.
“You didn’t have to come, you could have said no thank you.”
“I LIKE THE MOVIE...” A man in front turned to look at me for a second. “I like the movie, Don; is there anything wrong with that?”
“Nothing at all,” he said, and he didn’t say another word till it was over and we were walking again past the used-tractor lot and out into the dark toward the field and the airplanes. It would be raining, before long.
I thought about his odd behavior in the theater. “You do everything for a reason, Don?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why the movie? Why did you all of a sudden want to see Sundance?”
“You asked a question.”
“Yes. Do you have an answer?”
“That is my answer. We went to the movie because you asked a question. The movie was the answer to your question.”
He was laughing at me, I knew it.
“What was my question?”
There was a long pained silence. “Your question, Richard, was that even in your brilliant times you have never been able to figure out why we are here.”
I remembered. “And the movie was my answer.”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t understand,” he said.
“No.”
“That was a good movie,” he said, “but the world’s best movie is still an illusion, is it not? The pictures aren’t even moving; they only appear to move. Changing light that seems to move across a flat screen set up in the dark?”
“Well, yes.” I was beginning to understand.
“The other people, any people anywhere who go to any movie show, why are they there, when it is only illusions?”
“Well, it’s entertainment,” I said.
“Fun. That’s right. One.”
“Could be educational.”
“Good. It is always that. Learning. Two.”
“Fantasy, escape.”
“That’s fun, too. One.”
“Technical reasons. To see how a film is made.”
“Learning. Two.”
“Escape from boredom...”
“Escape. You said that.”
“Social. To be with friends,” I said.
“Reason for going, but not for seeing the film. That’s fun, anyway. One.”
Whatever I came up with fit his two fingers; people see films for fun or for learning or for both together.
“And a movie is like a lifetime, Don, is that right?”
“Yes.”
“Then why would anybody choose a bad lifetime, a horror movie?”
“They not only come to the horror movie for fun, they know it is going to be a horror movie when they walk in,” he said.
“But why?...”
“Do you like horror films?”
“No.”
“Do you ever see them?”
“No.”
“But some people spend a lot of money and time to see horror, or soap-opera problems that to other people are dull and boring?...” He left the question for me to answer.
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to see their films and they don’t have to see yours. That is called ‘freedom.’”
“But why would anybody want to be horrified? Or bored?”
“Because they think they deserve it for horrifying somebody else, or they like the excitement of horrification, or that boring is the way they think films have to be. Can you believe that lots of people for reasons that are very sound to them enjoy believing that they are helpless in their own films? No, you can’t.”
“No, I can’t,” I said.
“Until you understand that, you will wonder why some people are unhappy. They are unhappy because they have chosen to be unhappy, and, Richard, that is all right!”
“Hm.”
“We are game-playing, fun-having creatures, we are the otters of the universe. We cannot die, we cannot hurt ourselves any more than illusions on the screen can be hurt. But we can believe we’re hurt, in whatever agonizing detail we want. We can believe we’re victims, killed and killing, shuddered around by good luck and bad luck.”
“Many lifetimes?” I asked.
“How many movies have you seen?”
“Oh.”
“Films about living on this planet, about living on other planets; anything that’s got space and time is all movie and all illusion,”he said. “But for a while we can learn a huge amount and have a lot of fun with our illusions, can we not?”
“How far do you take this movie thing, Don?”
“How far do you want? You saw the film tonight partly because I wanted to see it. Lots of people choose lifetimes because they enjoy doing things together. The actors in the film tonight have played together in other films - before or after depends on which film you’ve seen first, or you can see them at the same time on different screens. We buy tickets to these films, paying admission by agreeing to believe in the reality of space and the reality of time... Neither one is true, but anyone who doesn’t want to pay that price cannot appear on this planet, or in any space-time system at all.”
“Are there some people who don’t have any lifetimes at all in space-time?”
“Are there some people who never go to movies?”
“I see. They get their learning in different ways?”
“Right you are,” he said, pleased with me. “Space-time is a fairly primitive school. But a lot of people stay with the illusion even if it is boring, and they don’t want the lights turned on early.”
“Who writes these movies, Don?”
“Isn’t it strange how much we know if only we ask ourselves instead of somebody else? Who writes these movies, Richard?”
“We do,” I said.
“Who acts?”
“Us.”
“Who’s the cameraman, the projectionist, the theater manager, the ticket-taker, the distributor, and who watches them all happen? Who is free to walk out in the middle, any time, change the plot whenever, who is free to see the same film over and over again?”
“Let me guess,” I said. “Anybody who wants to?”
“Is that enough freedom for you?” he said.
“And is that why movies are so popular? That we instinctively know they are a parallel of our own lifetimes?”
“Maybe so... maybe not. Doesn’t matter much, does it?
What’s the projector?”
“Mind,” I said. “No. Imagination. It’s our imagination, no matter what you say.”
“What’s the film?” he asked.
“Got me.”
“Whatever we give our consent to put into our imagination?”
“Maybe so, Don.”
“You can hold a reel of film in your hands,” he said, “and it’s all finished and complete - beginning, middle, end are all there that same second, the same millionths of a second. The film exists beyond the time that it records, and if you know what the movie is, you know generally what’s going to happen before you walk into the theater: there’s going to be battles and excitement, winners and osers, romance, disaster; you know that’s all going to be there. But in order to get caught up and swept away in it, in order to enjoy it to its most, you have to put it in a projector and let it go through the lens minute by minute... any illusion requires space and time to be experienced. So you pay your nickel and you get your ticket and you settle down and forget what’s going on outside the theater and the movie begins for you.”
“And nobody’s really hurt? That’s just tomato-sauce blood?”
“No, it’s blood all right,” he said. “But it might as well be tomato sauce for the effect it has on our real life...”
“And reality?”
“Reality is divinely indifferent, Richard. A mother doesn’t care what part her child plays in his games; one day bad-guy, next day good-guy. The Is doesn’t even know about our illusions and games. It only knows Itself, and us in its likeness, perfect and finished.”
“I’m not sure I want to be perfect and finished. Talk about boredom...”
“Look at the sky,” he said, and it was such a quick subject change that I looked at the sky. There was some broken cirrus, way up high, the first bit of moonlight silvering the edges.
“Pretty sky,” I said.
“It is a perfect sky?”
“Well, it’s always a perfect sky, Don.”
“Are you telling me that even though it’s changing every second, the sky is always a perfect sky?”
“Gee, I’m smart. Yes!”
“And the sea is always a perfect sea, and it’s always changing, too,” he said. “If perfection is stagnation, then heaven is a swamp!
And the Is ain’t hardly no swamp-cookie.”
“Isn’t hardly no swamp-cookie,” I corrected, absently. “Perfect, and all the time changing. Yeah. I’ll buy that.”
“You bought it a long time ago, if you insist on time.”
I turned to him as we walked. “Doesn’t it get boring for you, Don, staying on just this one dimension?”
“Oh. Am I staying on just this one dimension?” he said. “Are you?”
“Why is it that everything I say is wrong?”
“Is everything you say wrong?” he said.
“I think I’m in the wrong business.”
“You think maybe real estate?” he said.
“Real estate or insurance.”
“There’s a future in real estate, if you want one.”
“OK. I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t want a future. Or a past. I’d just as soon become a nice old Master of the World of Illusion. Looks like maybe in another week?”
“Well, Richard, I hope not that long!”
I looked at him carefully, but he wasn’t smiling.

16.12.2010 11:35 PM

Thomas Dewar and his Dewarisms.

2010-12-15T14:15:00.000-08:00

Actually today I came up with the whole 3 posts. In my head. I wish they could transfer on the paper automatically without my help at that time of the night.
Anyways, here's the 3d one. Fantastic Thomas Dewar, author of the bestseller "Ramble Round the Globe".

But today about his "pearls of wisdom", Dewarisms. Let me know if you come across more of them:

No. 22 Sometimes doing nothing is doing something.
No. 36 Enjoy now, another now is coming.
No. 43 Less pain, more gain.
No. 49 The pause is a part of the walk.
No. 27 Go ahead, look around.
No. 28 You better wait for the unexpected.
No. 34 Making a mistake is also an achievement.
No. 58 The further you are from a problem, the smaller it gets.
No. 64 If you think you know it all, you are missing something.
No. 73 Proper rules are not written.
No. 77 Sometimes a step forward needs a step back.
No. 86 If you get to the top on your own, who'll take the picture?
No. 17 We should not say how's business, but where is business
No. 19 Never invest in a going concern until you know which way it is going.
No. 23 The quality of the article should be its greatest achievement.
No. 38 Yesterday's success belongs to yesterday.
No. 42 In charity there is no excess.
No. 46 The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one.
No. 51 Life is a one-way street and you're not coming back.
No. 54 Fish stimulates the brain, but fishing stimulates the imagination.
No. 66 Respectability is the state of never being caught doing anything which gives you pleasure.
No. 68 Of two evils, choose the more interesting.
No. 70 There is no traffic congestion on the straight and narrow path.
No. 76 We have a great regard for old age when it is bottled.
No. 79 A philosopher is a man who can look at an empty glass with a smile.
No. 83 Minds are like parachutes: they only function when they're open.
No. 85 Experience is what you get when you're looking for something else.
No. 87 Ability without enthusiasm is like a rifle without a bullet.
No. 92 You can send a boy to college but you can't make him think.
No. 95 If we are here to help others, I often wonder what the others are here for.
No. 97 Don't question your wife's judgment; look who she married.
No. 21 Keep advertising and advertising will keep you.
No. 23 The quality of the article should be its greatest achievement.
No. 31 If you do not advertise, you fossilize.

16.12.2010 0:20

Steve Hanks's watercolor paintings.

2010-12-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

A few words.

2010-12-13T02:35:00.000-08:00

Even when I’m wrong I’m right, natural juices, gina tricot, smoothes, iphone, age limit, reports, Sinelnikov,pirkka, bread with brie cheese and a pear, marimekko pineapple dress, hot water from the toilet in the airport, Nepal, India, one internet cable for two, white socks, Arcada, kozel, leggings, guerlain powder, korres, warren buffet, german guys, italian guys, guys in general, tektonik, sasa’s summer place, lashes, dogs, Crimea, tea, mango, NBE, lost umbrellas, dermalogica, library loans, you just haven't meet the right guy yet, amica food, suki, parties, Russians everywhere, fleshed ipod, toilets for disabled, mac, no strong light in the room, Chester, Heffe’s island, mushrooms, blackberries, baby oil, London, Biomet, ginger tea, smoking, puhu minulle suomea, apricot stone, mudlo, jag talar littet svenska, sauna, honey, ~~public toilets~~ bushes, poor dad reach dad, couchsurfing, Eurovision, volunteers, Rautatientori, green farms, skype, so what, dresses, red luggage bags, cakes, cooking, I’m a good guy don’t worry, Dumb & Dumber, kiss me I’m Russian, let's take Tuomas he's so cute, flowers, vegetarian receipts book, Adecco, xage.ru, cultural day, what ever is done is done for the best, free cashiers (my boyfriend left me. mine too. we are what? free cashiers), yoga, oversleeping, Amarillo, Anastasiya, photosessions, i will come with a stick, modified Spanish strawberries, blackboard, Braunschweig, exchange students, Luutech, crematorium, cemetery, dark side club, queen of hearts, entrepreneurship, ceder nuts, harmaja band, Moscow, Helsinki, Altay, mussels (midii) and buckwheat, laying on the floor and dying, see you when i see you, Vantaa, he has a cool degree, Hietsu beach, naked in the bus, picassa, I want it now, unreal, angry gulls, woman who sees the future, melodramas, pictures slideshow, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, K-market, restaurants in the centre, orange colour base cream for face, nu Leeeeen, brother louie, parents, sushi, pan cakes, rock the ballet, Hämenlinna, Tampere, Lady Gaga, he's a very good person, i gonna kill him, telescope, vkontakte, facebook, happy birthday at 8 a.m., he’s a finn, mina olen shockissa, face masks, coffee scrubs, iron, I know that you know everything better it’s just my opinion, they piss me off, hand made, ahahahah, from Alina with love, pupsik, crazy fan, story of stuff, reuse reduce recycle, everybody envies me, I haaaaaaaate you, business idea, he doesn’t understand, welcome to the club, 150l garbage bags,driving licence, shopping, I will show them all who is cool, nu Saaaaaaash, hoas, salad leaves, cheese and pomegranate with honey, dacha style, Sunday style, Aiesec, for free, pizza, paparazzi, Guess, make up with him he is cool, large square, don’t freak me off, Nutella, burberry, paining, Stockmann upper floor, cleaning, finance, Germany, let's.

To be continued as time goes..

The friend you want to have.

Vladimir Putin ♥ dogs, so do I.

2010-12-10T18:41:00.000-08:00

Vladimir Putin just recently received a present from Bulgaria, a puppy of the Karakachan Shepherd. The name of the new Putin's family member was suggested by 5 years old boy from Moscow, Dima Sokolov, through the Internet. The cute dog will be called "Baffi".
♥

Other dogs of the prime-minister.
Connie, female black Labrador Retriever.

Once ate delicacies prepared for Jury Luzhkov (ex-major of Moscow) and Boris Gryzlov (Speaker of State Duma) at the official event;
"In February 2005, "We" youth movement started a campaign to promote Koni for President. It was the opinion of the group that no matter who won the 2008 Russian presidental election the operating head of state would remain the same, and hence Koni would make the best candidate." - Wiki
Is the main character of famous political comics "Ogonyok".
Vladimir Putin: "Sometimes, Koni leaves a room full of journalists with a very pleased expression on her face and biscuit crumbs around her mouth...Please don't feed my dog."
Has Wikipedia page: www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koni_(dog)

Three toy poodles Tusya (female), Romeo (male), Rodeo (male).
They belong to Lyudmila Putina, Vladimir Putin's wife.

Vladimir Putin also has the goat Skazka ("Fairy-tale) and its kid. Was a present from Jury Luzhkov (ex-major of Moscow).

A while ago the goat has bitten Putin by accident and caused a big scandal in foreign Mass Media. All over the world journalists were wondering if Putin had a plastic surgery or was bitten by a man.

Left eye on the pictures.

And one more pet, pony Vadik. A present from Kazan republic.

"Lord help me be the person my dog thinks I am..."- Janusz Leon Wisniewski

"I want a man like Putin" song by Poyuschie vmeste ("Singing together") band.

My boyfriend is in trouble once again:
Got in a fight, got drunk on something nasty
I've had enough and I chased him away
And now I want a man like Putin

One like Putin, full of strength
One like Putin, who won't be a drunk
One like Putin, who wouldn't hurt me
One like Putin, who won't run away!

I've seen him on the news last night
He was telling us that the world has come to crossroads
With one like him, it's easy to be home and out
And now I want a man like Putin

One like Putin, full of strength
One like Putin, who won't be a drunk
One like Putin, who wouldn't hurt me
One like Putin, who won't run away!

Be a man, just do it (c)

2010-12-08T10:13:00.000-08:00

"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were scared to have and the decisions we waited too long to make. There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who doesn't, who never did and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future".

Just a very good song.

2010-12-06T23:49:00.000-08:00

Zemfira - I was looking for you.

I was looking for you
During long long years
Was looking for you
In dark dark backalleys
In newspapers and movies
Within my friends
And the day i found you
I went crazy

Chorus:
You, you're just like a dream
Just like in albums
Where I was painting you with gouache

Later went on the night phone calls
More tears, nerves and love
And dates in Poland
Children, but not mine
And old sweethearts
Smoke every five
We both got tired

Chorus

During long long years
During dark dark nights
Long years

Chorus x2

I was looking for you
During long long years
Was looking for you
In dark dark backalleys
In newspapers and movies
During long years
Looking for you
For nights...

I think she's fantastic. Sophie Calle.

2010-10-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

Hasselblad centre, Götenborg, Sweden.

30 Oct - 6 Feb
Sophie Calle

(born 1953) is a French writer, photographer, installation artist, and conceptual artist. Her work frequently depicts human vulnerability, and examines identity and intimacy. She is recognized for her detective-like ability to follow strangers and investigate their private lives. Her photographic work often includes panels of text of her own writing.

(Wikipedia)

If you by accident come across other good pictures of her works, please, let me know.

LOVE LETTER

'I WANTED A LOVE LETTER, but he would not write one to me. One day, I saw the word« Sophie » written at the top of a piece of stationery. This gave me hope. Two months after our wedding, I noticed the edge of a sheet of paper sticking out from under his typewriter. I pulled it toward me. The last line of a letter appeared : « My confession is last night, I kissed the envelope with your letter and photo ». I continued to read, in reverse : »You asked me once if I believed in love at first sight. Did I ever answer you ? » At the top of the page I noticed these words were not addressed to me but to a letter « H ». I crossed out the « H » and replaced it with an « S ». This became the letter I had never received. '

FAKE WEDDING

"Our improvised roadside marriage in Las Vegas didn’t allow me the chance to fulfil the secret dream that I share with so many women: to one day, wear a wedding dress. So, on Saturday June 20 1992, I decided to bring family and friends together on the steps of a church in Paris for a formal wedding picture. The photograph was followed by a mock civil ceremony performed by a real mayor and then a reception. The rice, the wedding cake, the white veil - nothing was missing. I crowned, with a fake marriage, the truest story of my life."

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

YOUNG GIRL'S DREAM DESERT

"When I was fifteen I was afraid of men. One day in a restaurant, I chose a dessert because of its name: ‘Young Girl's Dream’. I asked the waiter what it was, and he answered: "It's a surprise." A few minutes later he returned with a dish featuring two scoops of vanilla ice cream and a peeled banana. He said one word: "Enjoy." Then he laughed. I closed my eyes the same way I closed them years later when I saw my first naked man."

***

"I was thirty, and my father thought I had bad breath. He made an appointment for me with a doctor whom assumed was a general practitioner. Except that the man I found myself facing was a psychoanalyst. Given the hostility my father always manifested towards this profession, my surprise was total. My first words were: "There must have been a mistake, my father is convinced I have bad breath and he sent me to a generalist." "Do you always do what your father tells you to do"? replied the man. I became his patient."

i know what's the next book i reread.

2010-09-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

..Language is the source of misunderstandings.
..You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JImcvlt-Wo

ink

2010-08-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning when came across my old photo album. Stopped by to observe once again the life i used to live. Among the pictures of me and my girls smiling I found the portrait made by Nastya and the poem. He wrote it for me 4 years ago just before I left Altay.
First love (?) and first disappointed. How does it work that once a person is everything for you, and then suddenly you feel annoyed to hear his voice? Is it because you change all the time, so does the other person, and at some point you simply look at different sides of the world?

"I'm afraid that the Big City and people who will surround you will ruin your now. The power of mind must be firmer than power of desires and passions."

The portrait. They say it's ugly. But the only reason why I keep it is that it's my own Dorian Gray picture.

Last time we talked in person i was sad, and dinosaurs were making nests. It's a nightmare for real.
He gave up. So did I.

Demands Demand.

2010-08-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

"Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it."

Osho

I'm a good case for a psychiatrist.

She always told me that I should be perfect.
Perfect: the looks, the character, the mind. All together. It's a circle, you know. Endless circle.

And there was only one thing worse than being not perfect: being average. It was better to be deep down than stay in the crowd in the middle.

How do I feel now knowing that I'm not perfect? Disappointed. Disappointed in Life.
People disappoint me. They don't stand my demands. I disappoint myself.

Brain: switch off mode.

About Her.

2010-07-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

I can't remember when we met.
I think we knew each other always.

She was small girl with big blue eyes and soft blond hair.
Her parents had the garden close to ours. Our was on the top of the hill next to the forest. Their-at the bottom, just around the main road.

Here I'm: thin, always broken laps, legs in bruises. Wind in my hair (..and in the head as mom would say).
I run down the hill and try to follow the track made by a truck in the ground. Our neighbours' gardens pass fast on the right side as I hasten. I fall several times and add myself extra blue-spots.
In the middle of the way I meet her. She had to run up the hill, and that was much more difficult obviously. But she never searched for easy ways.

We would climb the hill back and go to my parents' garden.
When we were small there was nothing better in the whole world than to lie naked on the water barrel, swing the legs and dream.
We spent all summers together and never saw each other in winters.

Then my parents got divorced. And I was never back to our garden again.

Time passed slowly in the new apartment we moved to. It was early spring. Real Siberian spring.
I didn't know anybody from the yard and felt lonely at home after school.
I remember as if it was today when my mom saw Her in the window. Mom, actually, recognized the coat she made and gave to Her. I still remember it too.
She showed for a second and disappeared in the building block.

As summer was coming I was forced to go outside every day. I knew She was somewhere near.

Here I'm sitting and pretending to read while overwatching a group of girls playing in the yard. I wait for them to come and talk to me. I'm older and need to play cool.
And then She comes. The eyes, the blond hair, small-just-a-kitten-alike.
Then it was decided that we should be together.

We had a perfect childhood, didn't we?
She had to play a piano. I had to study Maths and English.
But then parents let us go, we would make a fast way into a trouble. Thanks God, there was no Internet in 90s for us!

There was a big sandpit in the yard. We took Her Dad's geology book, found the picture with the structure of Earth, and decided to make the way to the core. We dug the whole day and evening till parents called us back.
In the next morning somebody put the sand back to our hole. Her Dad tried to explain us the impossibility of the task, but it was absolutely unimportant back then.
The dreams failed for first time in life.

I remember how Her Dad died. And all the people who came to say last bye to Him. They didn't fit in the yard.

We liked the same guys (that's probably because the choice was already very limited). We smoked together for the first time. We got drunk with the home-made vodka together as well.

We kept together even when I moved to St.Petersburg. And she came in a year. She came to be with me.
Then our paths separated for two years. I cut Her from my life and soon moved to Finland.
I wasn't near when She had the most difficult time of Her life. I gave Her friends but left Her for two years.
Two years. How much is it?

Now we are together again. 400 km between us, but that's nothing I know already.

She's a real woman: beautiful and wise. She has green eyes (have they ever been blue?) and red hair.
She just settled down.
I'm almost 2 years older, but I still call Her for an advice every time life goes down.
She is a strong woman. She had different times and people on her way. No guy could prove himself to be as strong as she is. So far.
But now it will be all different.

I will see her soon, and it will be the first Birthday of her we will spend together in many years.
I will look in her eyes and see myself in my parents garden. Sitting on the water barrel and swinging my legs. She will be near as always.
And I will cry.

How I met my mom.

2010-07-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

They say we don't chose parents.
I'm not sure, but even if so, then I know the exact moment when I caught "the bird of luck" in my life. It was when I got my mom.
I was expected (or even supposed) to be a guy. My name would be Anton and I would do professional dancing. This was the plan. But surprise, surprise the girl was born. My parents and the rest of the relatives were shocked (like Finland gets shocked every winter with the heavy snow), and obviously didn't know what to do (again Finland-snow-parallel). Just because they didn't know what to do and how to dispose all the blue clothes bought (in Russia it's the must since the childhood: girls go pink, boys-blue, and no exceptions) , my folks didn't know as well how to call me.

I think it was then when my parents lost common ground in life. Anyways, mom wanted to call me Anya (full is Anna), dad insisted on Elena (in honer of his grandmother who lived like a 200-years-old-life). The battle could be never-ending and I could be still named "child-the-1st-of-December-number-one-hundred-something" (or even worse, they could decide to name me after a saint of my day of birth. Who were surprise, surprise, only guys: Nikolai, Platon, Roman). BUT my dad made it easy and sneaky enough (in the good sense of this word) wrote the name you all know on the official paper while my mom was sleeping.

That's it. This is how I became Elena, Lena, Lenochka, Lenka, Alenka (say it as Alönka), and Lenusik to name just a few.

My mom said the first thing i did when the nurse brought me to her was to smile and say miaow!
My first word was "Day!" ("Give me" in English). I bet it couldn't be this one, they just missed the true-first-word. It must been "peace", "cookies" or "go vegetarian", and it really drives me crazy that the truth was lost.
And just to show you how much my parents cared for small details I could mention that it took them almost a month to notice that I have eyes of different colour (right-blue, left-green. Surprise, Surprise, if you didn't know that, it means that you know me as much as I'm aware of the Twilight story. And I'm not!)
((And if you've seen my eyes, you are or once have been very important to me. Anyways))

But don't think that it was just about my mom and dad, other relatives also participated in my upbringing.
My dad's side granny fed me with chocolate candies even before I got my first tooth, and my mom's side granny missed the moment when I fell down in the boiler casing while sitting on the potty-chair and singing cheerfully.
But al least they never forgot me in the kinder-garden.

Well, actually, the idea to write a post was nothing to do with my old childhood memories, they just came out self-invited. And the reason was that I had a WONDERFULL childhood. And there's no mistake in my word "wonderfuLL". It was FULL of love, understanding, care and people I will always keep in my heart.

My mom always thought me to be an honest person, hard-working and to treat people worthily (which includes giving somebody a hard time if a person deserved it). She wanted me to be a lady, have my own style and speak German.
She always says that there's a great difference between "i wanted to do" ("i was doing but didn't finish, didn't succeed") and "i did" (in Russian they are the same verbs but in different cases).
The result only matters, not how hard you were trying (c)

My mom gets very much disappointed with me all the time: with my accounting skills (both academic and keeping a budget), with me calling my grandmom so rarely (but it's only because she always asks if I eat enough and if I have already found a guy worth marrying, and I never have anything new to tell her concerning these two).
My mom get's sad because I never listen to her and always choose the wrong men. And, of course, because I didn't want to study German when I was a kid and now I have to regret (the thing about the German language is that mom was English and German languages teacher).

But I know two things: that my mom loves me, and that she's my first and forever love.
Just in a while I will open a mail-box from her. It went a long-long road from Altay to Saint-Peterburg, took a couple of days off there and with the help of Anechka (help I can't over-rate) finally arrived in Helsinki.
In the box there are new dresses for mom's lady. My mom is my favourite clothes designer, and, of course, mom knows that it's inside that matters (But who will look inside if you don't have a nice dress and high heels?)

I will call my mom tomorrow and say that I love her. With my mom Christmas is not once a year!

The Test of the Three Strainers.

2010-07-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

In ancient Greece, Socrates was highly reputed for his wisdom. One day someone came to the great philosopher and said to him “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“One minute answered Socrates. Before you tell me, I would like you to pass a test, the three strainer test.”
“The three strainers?”
“Surely so,” said Socrates. “Before telling all kinds of things on others, it is good to take time to filter what we would like to say. That is what I call the test of the three strainers. The first strainer is the one of truth. Did you check if what you wish to tell is true?”
“No I only heard about it.”
“Very good. Then you do not know, if it is the truth.”
“Now let us try another way of straining by using a second strainer, the one of goodness. What you want to inform me about is something good?”
“Oh no! Just the opposite.”
“Then,” Socrates went on, “you want to tell me bad things about him and you are not sure that they are true.”
“Maybe you can still pass the test, because there is a last strainer, the one of usefulness. Is it useful that you inform me about what my friend could have done?”
“No, not really.”

“Then,” Socrates concluded, “if what you have to tell me is neither true, not good, or useful, why do you want to tell me about it?”